In June I got a cash payout from the insurance company for when the tree fell on the house. So I had Phil take me to the hardware store and I bought some lumber to build a woodshed, some paneling for the house, a solar light, and a build-it-yourself greenhouse kit. Chuck got hired as a mechanic working on big rig trucks. He started working 12-hour days, five days a week, so I had the place to myself for a change. I built a wood shed and set up the greenhouse. I planted a garden. I adopted a cat.
Ellen had come over and asked me if I would please take one of her cats, Belle. The poor old gal was always getting beat up by the other cats and spent most of her time under the bed or in the closet. She really needed a nice home, free of other cats. Plus, she was a good mouser and I was having a bit of a problem with mice. Ellen said she would provide a cat box and help buy cat food. So, I finally said yes and got myself a kitty.
On weekends Chuck and I started hanging out together again, enjoying the property. There was no more sleeping together and I just really wanted for us to be friends. After all, we were in this completely bizarre situation now. The world was exploding and people were dying from horrible things everywhere. It was nice to have a real person to talk to about all the horrors the BFEE had unleashed upon the world. We were setting up our little safe haven. This could work.
This is an email that he sent then that made me feel more comfortable with what was going on here.
July 7
Let me know where you want me to move that lumber that is on top of my logs on the West side of your barn.
I don't want to put your lumber on the ground, but I want those logs out of there in the next day or two to prevent rotting.
I plan to move them (my logs) over to my greenhouse area
Thanx
So, we're outside talking again one afternoon and he decides to tell me the following about himself: “Sometimes people accuse me of being self-centered. I'll admit it, I am. That doesn't mean I'm conceited though, it just means I'm looking out for myself. I have to, to survive. I've been screwed over again and again. People always take advantage of my innocence, my gentleness. I trust them and then they rip me off. So now I always think of myself first. It's how I've managed to survive all this time.”
I began to realize that whenever I went over feeling happy he would immediately slap me with some criticism, which would put me in a weak and submissive state. He would then turn all cheerful and talk about how wonderful he was and how he needed things to be. I was only allowed to like his music, his food, his ideas. If I had my own ideas, this was stressful to him.
He often told me that I was not at all observant; it was like I was wearing blinders. He based this on the fact that when I walk I always look down. Lemme tell you something, I learned about looking down when I lived and worked in the big city. I learned to not step in dog doo or strange goop, and I frequently found money while walking that way. Now, out on my property, I'm always barefoot, in the summer anyway. I want to see exactly where my feet will be landing. He doesn't seem to understand about peripheral vision. Mine is quite good. I do still see what's going on, but he doesn't realize that.
I tried to explain it to him once, but to him it was just evidence that I was delusional. He could SEE, I couldn't. He told me that so many times, for a while I started to think maybe he was right.
One Sunday, a few weeks later, I was out working in my garden when I heard a truck pull into my driveway. It was Bill, the neighbor I'd never met, and he was carrying a chainsaw. I started getting a little freaked out and said, “Hi. What's up?”
“Hi. I'm Bill, I live over there. I think you probably know who I am and I think you have heard some really bad things about me. But, I've seen that tree laying across your yard for months now and I've seen how you try to mow around it. I decided I would come over and cut it up for you and get it out of the way. It's what neighbors do here.”
“But, but, Chuck was going to pull that around and make it into a fence for me. I'd like to have a fence across the front.”
“Trust me, I know Chuck; that will never happen. Just let me get it out of the way for you. Okay? Then we'll talk.”
So I let him. He made quick work of it and we moved it all out of the way. What a relief. I insisted he have a beer after and we talked.
He told me all about himself and how his family had grown up here. Then we got to talking about Chuck. I told him about the rent payments I signed for but never got and he said the same thing had happened to him. He asked me how many animals Chuck had shot here. I'm like, “What?”
“Oh yeah, when he first moved onto my property he told me how much respect he had for all the critters. Then one day he shot a porcupine, just because it was there. I was pretty angry about that because we don't see many porcupines around here these days, but he was all freaked out that it was going to attack him. Another time he shot a garter snake. He said it bit him. I don't believe that. I think there is something wrong with the guy.”
“Oh yes, I think so, too. But I'm trying to find help for him. I love him. I would do anything for him.”
“That's nice of you. Hope it works out. But come on up sometime, meet the gang. You have friends up the road you don't even know about. I'm only here in the summer though. I leave in September.”
We shared a big hug and he left. About an hour later Chuck came out. “I see you've gone over to the dark side.”
“No. I did not invite him here. I did not ask him to do that. He came over and volunteered to help a woman who appeared to be in need of help. I was, and I am very grateful for what he did. Here's something you should know about him. He was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's. He's doing okay so far; he's on a lot of drugs. But he has a horrible disease and he will eventually die from it.”
“I didn't know that. Maybe I should go and try to talk to him. Maybe we could make up.”
“I think that would be a really good idea, for both of you.”
A couple of days later I walked the quarter mile up to Bill's. He was just starting the grill. I met Sam, the guy who looks after the property now, like Chuck used to do. Then Rob, who hangs out most days and helps in whatever way he can. Bill took me on a tour of the property, some of which I had seen, all those years before. There was a bit of a tug in my heart to see that place where Chuck and I started out. But there was a whole lot more to see than just that little spot, like part of the big creek there. It was just stunning and we had a nice, long hike. Then he fed me, grilled burgers and fries. Yum.
Weeks later I took Ellen up to Bill's and introduced them. He fed us, grilled burgers, fries, corn on the cob. It was a beautiful evening. Bill has this gorgeous cat, a tiny calico girl, so of course we ladies were all gushing over her. He invited us to an upcoming party in a few weeks. It was a party he had yearly and people would be coming from all over. There would be live music, a fairly famous musician even. I said I'd be there, for sure.
Ellen didn't get to go, she had to work. I went though, and oh my, what a great time. It was outside in the woods, about 20-30 people there, all of them very nice. One person came around offering venison sausage. Killed the deer himself. Now, I was never one to eat this sort of thing before. But this is a new world and I was tired of the old world of grocery store meat, full of chemicals and antibiotics.
So I took a piece and it changed my eating habits forever. It was so tasty. It went down so smooth. Now I eat venison whenever I can. Then came the live music. Several people there had guitars and fiddles and drums. What a wonderful, beautiful night I had. I walked home under the star-filled sky, and someone walked with me to make sure I got home safely.
This was a new person I had only met that night. He heard a bit about my situation and told me I should just tell Chuck to leave. “He already stated that he wanted to, right? Good. Now just tell him to go. You shouldn't have to live with all this stress and harassment. Just tell him to go.”
