I just found out that Chuck is in trouble with the police. A couple of months ago he quit driving his truck and started taking a bicycle to town. I have now learned from friends that he had thousands of dollars worth of traffic tickets outstanding and they finally caught up with him. He doesn't seem concerned about it though. Evidently he won't go to jail over it because there just isn't enough room in jails now. They will just let him pay it off however he can. So he wins again.
I have continued my online studies and believe that Chuck has now advanced from a personality disorder into full blow psychosis.
Martha Stout, a clinical psychology instructor at Harvard Medical School and author of The Sociopath Next Door, says psychopathy is an utter lack of conscience. Sociopaths have one, but it’s full of holes and works on their own set of rules. Narcissists have one, too, but are so self-interested it’s hard to tell. "What distinguishes [psychopaths] from the rest of us is an utterly empty hole in the psyche, where there should be the most evolved of all humanizing functions," she says.
In real life, psychopaths can only be diagnosed by professionals. But, say the experts, there are a few clues.
• Pity play: Psychopaths play on people's sympathy because we are compassionate and believe they deserve it. "Consistently bad or egregiously inadequate behaviour with frequent plays for your pity is as close to a warning mark on a conscienceless person’s forehead as you will ever be given," says Martha Stout, a clinical psychology instructor at Harvard Medical School.
• Manipulative: “Psychopaths love to make people jump, even if it’s not to their benefit," says Stout. "If you’re left wondering why, or thinking there was no sense in what happened, that’s a red flag."
• Parasitic: Whether they use charm and manipulation or the pity play to meet their needs, "they prefer living off the work of others rather than their own efforts," says Robert Hare in Vancouver, a world authority on psychopathy.
• Deceitful: Big or little, deception is a tool of their trade. "Their lies are always woven with a thread of truth," warns Hare, "which, if questioned, they indignantly point out in their own defense."
• Charming: Compelling and charismatic, psychopaths are mesmerizing, like predators before the kill.
• Conceited: Psychopaths "think they’re the next step in evolution," says Hare, and they let it show with arrogance, boasting and undermining those around them.
• Not to blame: Not only do they never accept culpability, but psychopaths will also manufacture proof that puts others at fault.
• Reactionary: When it suits them, psychopaths can mask their anger, but will also "overreact in response to perceived personal insults or insufficient demonstration of respect for their authority," explains Hare.
If you know a psychopath you may think your love will cure him. Let it go. Psychopaths are untreatable. "People have a hard time getting their heads around that," says Donna Anderson, a U.S. journalist who launched www.lovefraud.com to educate the public after her husband lied and defrauded her of $227,000. I guess I should be glad I only lost a couple thousand.
