Chapter 6

I got to thinking about how I was going to cook with just a microwave, barbecue, toaster and crock pot. I wanted something a little more eco-friendly. So I did some research online and found myself a solar oven. That would be the perfect solution for my new, off-grid lifestyle.

Chuck sent me a message telling me he had a great surprise for me. It was in the barn waiting for me. No, he wouldn't give me even a little clue. He wanted it to be a truly great surprise when I returned. He mentioned that I might not hear from him so much now as he had become a member of the volunteer fire department and was going to lots of training sessions. I was so proud of him. I was sure this would be good for him in many ways.

Later he started sending messages of distress about his rental situation. He had lost his job at the mill and was back on welfare. The other guy on the property where Chuck lived didn't like that Chuck was there all the time now, since the guy's wife was also there and he seemed to think something might be going on between them. Meanwhile, Chuck had started not paying the full rent amount, due to broken water pipes and electrical issues. So the landlady, Pam, had left an eviction notice on his door.

Chuck knew that this notice was not legal and had no validity so he was making plans with his social worker to fight it in court. He told me how much this social worker, Ann, liked him. He could get her to do just about anything for him. He said she always told him that he was unique. Here is something he wrote to me, explaining how she was looking out for him.

Oct 6            

My worker told me that the landlady called social services, complaining about me not signing the lease and whining I was giving her a hard time. Ann sort of hinted that they told her that if I was paying the rent to go blow it out her ass . Pam also told them she was going to evict me, but social services already knows my situation here, the insulation/sewage problems, etc.

Nice try, Pam. I'll be "doing" her as soon as I know she's in Florida - wonder how THAT will go when it comes to the part for her to attend a court hearing. A no-show on her part would almost guarantee a win for me. I'd probably win anyways, but I'd love to see her holiday interrupted - serve her right. Everything should be froze up pretty good by then, too.

So forget her 1 year lease - I'll fuck her on her 60 day notice too - I'll go straight to the dept. of health - they're a lot quicker than the court. But I can possibly get money off her thru the court - I'll sting her on both ends - but no rush on my part. Ann read me the whole report on Pam's call, and Pam will never know that I know, unless I tell her.

I was pretty anxious to get back and see what I could do to help. Just before my next trip he told me he had been sick a lot, probably due to not being able to afford decent food. This had caused him to be “fired” from the volunteer job because he wasn't able to keep up with the other fire fighters. He had been looking online for food supplements and found something that looked good called N-large. It's a powder you mix with liquid and has lots of nutrients in it. Chuck couldn't order it because he had no credit card. So I found it online and had a gallon of it delivered to him, $100.

He said:

In a way you sent me up some Health "Insurance"!! - Well done :)

I said:

Well, you know, sweetie, that I worry about you. You seem to have so many challenges.

He said:

Oh, you don't have to worry about me. I have a guardian angel who watches out for me. No matter how bad things get, they always end up working out just fine. It's probably because I'm such a good guy. I am totally honest and I would never hurt anyone. So Momma Nature provides.

Then I didn't hear from him again. 

I returned at the end of November, wanting to spend another Christmas and New Year. First thing I did was call Chuck, but his phone was disconnected. I went to the barn to see what my surprise was. The first surprise was the barn was half filled with Chuck's stuff: boards, mattresses, window panes, old computer parts, all sorts of things. Then I saw it, a wishing well! I had mentioned before how much I wanted one to set over my well head, which was a big metal thing sticking up in the yard. Now, this wishing well had obviously been picked up at the dump as it needed painting and such, but I loved it. It was just what I wanted.

I went over to Phil's where I learned that Chuck had moved out about a month ago. Phil said he'd seen his truck around now and then but had no idea where he was living. So I went back to my moving in chores. I still had boxes of clothes I hadn't unpacked yet. I do have a lot of clothes, I admit it. But I figured if I kept them all then I would never have to buy any again. Another way to save money. 

 

This little old house, though, doesn't have much closet space. I had only brought two sets of drawers so I knew I was going to have to put up shelves. But where? Well, there was the one room with Chuck's cupboards which he had built, and all of his personal belongings were gone from there now. I didn't feel right using his furniture so I took it all out and put it in the barn. At long last I no longer had to climb over boxes scattered about the house. They all went in my newly emptied room.

I pulled out my wishing well and painted it and put shingles on it to match the shingles on my roof. I had found some in the barn left over from when the house was shingled, just a few years ago. I kept myself very busy all the time to keep from stressing about why Chuck had just vanished. 

 

I spent Christmas and New Year with Phil and his family. It was, as always, a wonderful time, lots of food and laughs. I was sure fighting off some major depression, though. It looked like my friend had abandoned me and I did not know why. It poured down rain on New Year's Eve and I stood out in it at midnight to add my tears to the drops falling on the ground. Then I told myself that I had the most wonderful place on earth to live and I would just have to learn to be happy with that.

A few weeks later I was downtown and I saw Chuck's truck in the parking lot of the post office. I took a few deep breaths and went in. Chuck was at a counter, sorting through some mail. In spite of my pounding heart and the electrical shocks running through my nerves, I managed to walk behind him and “accidentally” bump him. I mumbled, “Sorry.”

He said, “No problem,” and then he turned and looked at me. “Well, hi! How are you? How has everything been going for you?”

“I'm okay, I guess. Kind of been wondering what happened to you.”

 

“All kinds of things have happened to me. I got booted out of that other place and had to spend a little time living in my trailer which the Clines let me stash on their property for a while. Then I found another little place for rent. It's cheap and the only heat is a wood stove so I've been spending all my time cutting wood. I had another job at a garage for a bit, but I didn't like the way the owner treated his customers so that didn't last. My wee house faces the river over there, across the bridge. Do you have time to come over for a coffee and you can see it?”

“Well...all right.”

So, I followed him over and he showed me where and how to park on the other side of the road, because once again there was another house on the property and they were real nasty about anyone taking up even an inch of their “side.”

It was a nice enough little place; the view of the river was fantastic. Chuck had made a number of modifications to the place to make it warmer and more comfortable. I was impressed. 

 

We had a coffee and chatted about this and that. I was very pleased to see that he was wearing the house shoes I had given him our first Christmas together. I decided not to mention anything about them, but I told him how much I loved the little wishing well and how I had fixed it up.

He then said I would have to go now; he had lots of stuff he had to do. But he asked me to return tomorrow and plan to spend the night. He had two beds and I should bring some beer and it would be just like old times. We could drink, play some Cribbage, have a meal and then sleep. Sounded good to me.

I went over early afternoon the next day and he seemed a little jumpy. He kept getting up to look out whenever a car would go by. We had a couple of beers and he relaxed a bit and was showing me all of his photos on his computer. Then I heard a car door outside and said I'd get up and look.

“There's a little red car in your driveway and a very attractive red-headed lady just got out and is headed for your door.”

He jumped up. “You just stay there, I'll be right back.”

So he went to the door and brought in the woman and said, “Maria, I want you to meet Ellen. You two have a whole lot in common. She is single and just moved here the same time as you. She even lives out by where you do.

 

“I met her a couple of months ago while I was outside working on my wood pile. She was driving by and saw the stacks of wood and wanted to know if I had any to sell. So we got to talking and I've gone over and chopped some wood for her. I just knew you two should meet each other. And now, here we are.”

She and I chatted for a bit, exchanged phone numbers, but the tension in the room was sure palpable. Thankfully, she left fairly soon. Then Chuck was Mr. Cheerful and we spent a delightful evening together. All was well and we were back together again.

I would go over and he would show me all about how to chop and stack wood. He taught me how to tell the difference between types of wood and how they would burn differently. He showed me how to load a wood stove and how to keep it burning. He had rigged up this nifty device with a thermostat and a light bulb. At night when the fire died down the thermostat would turn the light on by his bed and wake him up so he could reload wood. He was truly the most inventive person I had ever met.

But, again, one night came a panicked phone call. “Maria, I really need your help. My landlady is coming over tomorrow, with the police, to inspect my house. She's been bugging me about my wood in the yard and how I enclosed the front porch with glass. You saw all of that; you know I did nothing to alter the place. I just put up things to keep it warmer in here. The walls are all self-supporting and can be taken down in a matter of minutes, no damage to the property.

“So I told her no, she could not just come into my house. Then she said she was coming with the cops and would break the door down if necessary. All I want you to do is come over and write down everything that happens and everything that is said. I know you are really good at that. You can do some sort of shorthand, right?”

“Well, of course I'll be there. You can always count on me.”

It turned out to be not all that dramatic. Yes, she came with two police officers. She had some sort of club to break down the door, which she did swing a little bit and hit the door knob. Chuck took pictures of that. But he had left a key outside and told her she could use that instead, if she wanted to. So they came in, walked around, and I wrote down everything that was said and done. Then they left. But she left Chuck with an eviction notice based on what she had seen that day, for the very first time.

We discussed that at length after they left. How could she already have on paper something they only just saw that day? Did the neighbors peek in the windows when he wasn't there? Chuck said he was sure they just had a family member they wanted to move in, so he would have to go. But he was going to fight it. He had my notes; he had his own notes and pictures. He was going to court.

But, then it was time for me to leave the country again, in order to stay legal. So I had to go.

Chapter 17

January 1, 2009
To: Chuck Howe
From: Maria

Under our agreement that you would pay $150 per month to cover your electrical usage while living on my property in my trailer, and which you did not pay in December 2008, you now owe me $300.

Your electrical usage during the month of December, 2008, has exceeded $150 and I am neither willing nor able to continue to pay this expense for you, so I will be disconnecting it in 48 hours if you do not pay now. Since you managed to survive the recent 2-day outage caused by the weather, I am certain that you can safely continue to live in the same fashion. If you want to continue to use the electricity, I will need $300 now and at least $150 in each subsequent month, at the beginning of each month.

In a conversation we had several weeks ago you assured me you had other places you could go, so I want you off of this property as soon as possible. By the end of March, 2009, at the latest, I expect to see you removing yourself and your belongings from my property.

That message was delivered online and in a document attached to his door. On Jan 3, since there was no reply or payment, I turned off the breaker to the trailer.

Jan 4

To: Maria

It's time! Give me the money for the motel.
Propane and gas costs me 20 -30 bucks a day - and a whole lot of time and loss of sleep - noisy smelly damn thing
pay up - my line got cut!
I'll eat up a couple months rent in no time running this generator . . .
and 60 degrees in the morning is just too damn cold to shave and wash . .
so I sorta stink a bit . . .

To: Chuck

Your line didn't get "cut,"‏  it was turned off due to non-payment. Just like in real life, you gotta pay your bills. And I believe I make that easy enough for you. So, I don't understand your reluctance. Just pay the agreed upon $150 per month. That's $300 now. Really, how hard is that?”  

Actually, I could use a shower myself. Wanna get a room at the motel up the road? You and me?

He calls on the phone and says he would like to rectify the situation but I put so much pressure on him he doesn't know what to do. I tell him to just pay his bill and all will be fine. He hangs up on me.

To: Chuck

Rectify? I would like to do that, as well. “PRESSURE? You proposed to me! I spent almost $500 on the paperwork to get that approved, and then you told me, in these exact words, "I would never marry you.”

Tell you what, I will pay for a motel room for us for a day or two. We can relax and unwind there, talk things over. I would, of course, tell many people in advance where I am going. I'm sure you would want to do the same. And there will be a weapons check at the door. You okay with that?

There was no reply, but a few minutes later I heard yelling outside and pounding on the door. “Turn the fucking power back on! Turn the fucking power back on!” Evidently he had discovered he was no longer able to just walk in on me.

I decided to go out and try to talk to him, quietly. It was January outside, cold and snowy, so I put on boots, coat and hat. At the same moment my hand touched the kitchen doorknob, I heard the sound of shattering glass. I turned right around and walked the 6 steps across the kitchen to grab the phone and dial 911.

“911. What is your emergency?”

“A man is trying to break into my house! He is beating out the window of my entry door, beating and beating. Listen, can you hear it?” I held up the phone towards the door.

“Yes, I hear it. A patrol has been dispatched and is on its way. Do you know who the person is?”

“Yes, he's my ex-boyfriend. He's drunk and mad that his electricity got turned off for nonpayment. I think he's trying to get in to get to my breaker box.”

“How far away are you from the door?”

“It's a door to an outside porch and he's not through that yet. Then he'll have to break down another door to get to where I am.”

“Stay where you are and stay on the phone with me. The patrol car will be there any minute. What's happening now?”

“Oh, listen, it sounds like he's trying to kick the outside door down now. There's a latch hook on it I guess he can't see. Can you hear him?”

“Yes, I can. You should see the car lights coming up your street any minute now. Do you see them?”

“Yes, and I see him running back across the yard to his trailer now.”

“I'll relay that. Stay on the line with me. Okay, they've caught him now. Someone will be at your door in a minute.”

Knock, knock, knock.

“Yes, they're here. Thank you so much for your help.”

There were two cars. Two officers went to his place, one came to mine. He told me Chuck was being arrested because they could see the damage he had done. Now he wanted to come in and take a statement from me.

Okay. He sat in a chair in the kitchen and I told him the whole story, which I have relayed here, only I just started it with the day Chuck asked me to marry him. I showed him our messages on my computer, including the threats made. He wrote everything down then asked me a series of questions. The last question was, “Do you think he was deliberately trying to hurt you?”

I said no, I think he was just trying to get me to turn the breaker switch back on. Later I came to wish I hadn't said that.

The officer, though, said something that helped save my sanity. First he said, “I don't think you realize this but you are a victim of domestic abuse. Use that computer to get yourself informed about that. Next, here is a card from the local women's shelter. Call them tomorrow. They will give you very good advice about what to do.”

He walked out onto the porch, which was covered with shattered glass, and said, “Have you been out here to look around yet?”

'No, and I don't want to, not right now. This has been the most horrible night of my life and I just want to go to bed. I'll deal with that mess tomorrow, when I feel stronger.”

So, I went and had about four hours sleep; then the phone rang. It was the police and since I didn't really press charges against him, he was just charged with drunken mischief and was being released. He had been instructed to stay away from my house and had signed an agreement to replace the broken window. And I had to turn his electricity back on. An officer would be coming in the house to watch me flip the switch.

I called Phil the next morning and told him what had happened. He told me he'd already heard that there were a bunch of police cars here and he would be right over. He came into the porch and said, “Oh, damn. What a mess. Did he drop this log here?” That's when I saw the piece of lumber Chuck had evidently thrown through the window when I first heard the glass break. That could have hit me, if I had walked out when I was going to. Instead it knocked over a bucket full of trash. “There's another log just like it outside the door, on the ledge.”

 

I asked Phil if he would please drive me to get some beer. It looked like it was going to be a very stressful day. As we left it dawned on me that there was now no reason to lock the door, since there was no longer a window in it. Plus, Chuck still had a key to the kitchen door. So I would have to do something about that right away.

When I got back home I called the shelter and talked to a lovely woman for about three hours. She listened to my whole story then gave me advice about calling lawyers, and how that might not really work out for me, due to my situation here. There could be the issue of me making him a homeless man, so I was finally advised to just tell him to take the trailer and go.

I went out and stapled a sheet of plastic over what used to be a window, then picked up some of the glass. Each shattered piece was a slice through my heart. Dear Lord, how could he possibly do such a thing? What happened to that sweet, gentle person I met so long ago? There is my life, my hopes, my dreams, all shattered on the floor in front of me now. Nothing can ever put those pieces back together. Then I drank a beer and went to sleep for about 12 hours.

The next day I called Ellen to tell her about what happened and she insisted on coming over for a while. We drank a few beers and had a good talk. She assured me she would always help with anything I needed.

I tidied up the kitchen then, moved some newspapers that were on the table. There was a pair of brown cloth gloves underneath. I figured Ellen must have left them and I put them in my coat pocket to remind me to give them to her the next time I saw her. That was two weeks later when she picked me up to go shopping. I said, “Here, you left these last time you were over.”

She looked at them and said, “Nope, not mine. I've never seen them before.”

They must be Phil's then. A week later when he came over to plow again I showed them to him and asked if he had left them. He assured me he had never had gloves like that.

There was only one other person the gloves could have belonged to then: Chuck. So he was either in the house when I left with Phil, or while I was asleep. I installed a hasp on the outside of the door and put a heavy-duty padlock on it which I kept locked all the time. Now I was locked in. I prayed there wouldn't be a fire.

Chapter 19

In May I'm outside cleaning up the yard and I see Bill drive by. He's back! I go up to see him the next day and he has a couple of friends there. I give him a welcome back hug and say, “Boy, do I have something to tell you.”

“Well, I have something to tell you first. Chuck came by last night. He walked up, carrying a beer and said, 'I have to tell you about Maria. She's evil. I have never met such an evil woman. Don't trust her!'

“Well, I'll talk to her first and make up my own mind about that.”

One of Phil's brothers was there that day. I had met him a few times before. Laughing out loud, he says, “She's evil?” 

Bill said Chuck was asking if he could move back up there, but Bill said no, that's not going to happen. Chuck starts wandering around the property, picking up stuff. He would say, “I'll take this.”

“No, no you won't. Go home.”

I asked if Chuck had told him about how he beat the window out of my door. No, he failed to mention anything about that. So, I tell everyone what happened over the winter. I asked Bill to please take him back, get him the hell out of my life.

“Sorry, dear. You know I'd do just about anything for you. But that's more than anyone deserves. That guy should be in jail.”

“Yeah, actually I think he'd be happy there.”

 

May 16

Subject: some guy who shot his landlord is going to jail.

hmm - my landlady cut my heat off at 20 below this winter

I never considered shooting her

hmmmm

free heat, 3 squares a day

hmmm

I decided it was high time to get the door replaced. Doors are expensive, $300. But I obviously had a psychopath living next door and it was keeping me from sleeping at night. Any sound would wake me with a start, and this old house makes lots of sounds in the night. Phil came over and helped me install it and it only took about an hour. It's such a joy to have a real door again. 

The long-awaited warm days of June finally returned. I watched and waited for the day Chuck would leave around 10 a.m., because then he would not come back until later in the afternoon.

When I saw him depart I turned off the breakers and went out and cut the power line going into the trailer. Then I came in and undid all the wiring he had connected in the basement. Next I replaced all the padlocks on the barn. Then I just sat and watched. 

 

He came home and went in; after a few minutes he came out and looked at the wiring. He looked over at my house, then looked back at the wiring. He looked at my house again, then went back in. About 20 minutes later a police car pulled into Chuck's driveway. I called Phil and asked him if he could get over here right away and he did. So he was with me when the officer finally came and knocked on my door.

“Good day, ma'am. Your neighbor over there claims you cut his power line. Did you do that?”

“No, not really. First, that's not his power line. He doesn't pay for it. I had a bunch of friends over earlier: Phil here, and Bill, Dan, Joe, Tom. They all know that he hasn't paid me a cent towards the costs here for six months now and has been told to leave. So, they were all out here helping me move some stuff in the barn and I guess one of them decided to just go ahead and do that. Or maybe someone ran over it. I really don't know.”

Phil says, “Yeah, she's telling the truth. That guy is a crook.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

 

He went back over and talked to Chuck, then drove away. Woo hoo! High fives!

Later that day I had a surprise visit from one of my neighbors across the street, Jack. I had met him once, years ago, when he stopped by to say hi to Chuck. They had known each other for around 20 years. Over the past year I would occasionally see Chuck go over to his house. Jack wanted to know if I was okay because he'd seen the police car. He then invited me to come over, have a beer, and meet his wife. I thought, “Well, this should be interesting.” Indeed it was.

The first thing I learned was that despite knowing Chuck for all those years, they did not like him at all. Lisa said he was mean, nasty and he stunk. She said he would come over when their friends were there and the friends would all find reasons to leave right away. So they dreaded his visits. But they were too polite to just tell him to go away.

Jack told me that in all the years he had known him, Chuck had never been able to hold down a job. “Hell, they even kicked him off the volunteer fire department because once when they were out fighting a brush fire, Chuck just sat down and ate his lunch while he watched them. The guy is totally worthless.”

I gave them a run down on all that had transpired for me. They asked why I didn't just throw him out so I explained to them how he was blackmailing and threatening me. “My God, he's holding you hostage there!”

 

“Yes, that's exactly what he's doing and it's good that you can see that, too. I'm just glad it's being done in such a beautiful spot. I love it here so very much. I sure do not want to go back to my country. People are killing each other all over the place down there. The police are mostly all corrupt as well as the politicians. I would be terrified to go back now.”

“Oh, we understand. We think this is one of the nicest places in the world to live. Well, we'll see if we can come up with a plan to get him out of the neighborhood. Meanwhile, we'll keep an eye on you over there and help you out if you ever need anything.”

See what I mean? The people here are just so amazing. A few weeks later it was quite a hot, sunny day and Bill stopped by to ask if I wanted to go boating. He has a big bass boat. So, off we went and soon we were out in the river, cruising along, just the two of us. He stands up and says, “Here, you drive for a while. I want to lay down for a little bit. If I fall asleep, don't steal any of my rugs.”

Omigod, I never drove a boat before! “Nothing to it. Just steer and try to keep us from running into the shore.” I had so much fun. What an honor to be trusted like that. After all these years of being told I was stupid and incompetent, this day was a real turning point for me. I love you, Bill, more than you'll ever know.

                                                     

Chapter 25

It's 2012 now, and we're still here. “Married.” Not legally or anything, but we're still in each others' lives. I can't get rid of him and he can't get rid of me. Dear readers, be careful what you wish for.

Here are last year's adventures with the psychopath.

One day in early spring, after most of the snow had gone down, I went out to the mailbox. Just as I approached it, it fell over on its face. That was unexpected. I'm glad it fell before I was in front of it, or while the mailman was in front of it. It was quite heavy and the 4x4 wood post had evidently rotted away at the bottom. I turned it over and retrieved my mail. There was something for Chuck in there so I just left it.

Later I saw him go over to it. He got his mail and then spent several minutes looking at the situation. Thinking he might have some interest in helping to get it set up again, I went out and said, “Bummer, eh?” He just looked at me and sneered, and walked away. So I dragged the remains into my back yard and contemplated what to do now.

I decided to go up to Jack's and ask if he had any spare 4x4s so I could build a new post, but he didn't. I called Phil but he didn't have anything, either. So I pulled out my catalog from the local hardware store and found they sell an entire post and box set for $75. Ouch. I called and was told they didn't have any in stock, but they ordered one for me. It would be in the following week and they would call me when it arrived.

Meanwhile, what to do? I needed a mailbox. I looked around at what I had, then gathered a wooden stool and a few boards. I pried the metal box from its perch of 30 years, maybe longer, secured it to the stool and set it up by the road. With the help of some stakes and bungie cords, it seemed quite sturdy.

The next day I went out to meet the mailman when he came by, to explain the situation and ask if this was acceptable, albeit a bit different. He checked it out and said yes, it would work, for a while. What a relief.

A week later I hadn't heard from the store, so I called. They looked it up and told me those were on backorder at the warehouse; one would be here in 2 months. So I got on the internet and found they had them in a Northview hardware store. I called Ellen, told her what was going on, and asked if we could maybe go for a bit of shopping. I would give her $12 for gas.

So, a few days later we went, and we did lots of shopping. We had a great time. The next day I unpacked it all and read the instructions. I still needed a 4x4 piece of wood and a deep hole.

Next day I went out with my little spade and started digging a hole. Jack came by while walking his dog. “Whatcha doing?” I updated him on my project and said what I still needed. Now that he had seen the situation, he said he was pretty sure he had something that would work in his storage shed. He'd be back.

He returned about an hour later with a post, a bucket of tar, and an auger. In no time at all he augered out a hole, poured some tar in it, and set up my new mailbox. I awaited the mailman the next morning to ask if this passed inspection. It did, of course.

A few days later I went to Jack and Lisa's with a six pack of beer. At first they said, no no, we weren't expecting any payment for that. We were just helping out a friend. I said okay then, we'll each drink two and this will just be a nice visit. Which it was.

All summer long, then, Chuck enjoyed the new mailbox, as much as I did. Although, he's never done anything to help maintain it.

My garden that summer was great. I had all sorts of things growing. One day I took a picture of it, in all its glory. The next day I was gone all day, spending the day at Phil's. The next day I went out to pull some weeds and it looked different. I saw missing branches off of some plants. So I took another picture, not sure what happened. Comparing the two pictures on my computer, it's quite obvious that entire branches have been removed. 

The next day, I saw Chuck on Face Book post pictures of my garden, calling it his. The pictures were taken with all the branches still on. The pictures were dated the day I was gone. The next day some branches were gone. Draw your own conclusions.

It was coming on fall then. I decided I really wanted that old truck off my property, along with a whole lot of other scrap metal scattered here and there. I decided to sell it all to a scrap dealer. I went across the road to Jack's to ask if he could recommend someone and he informed me that his son did that.

So I arranged for a pick up. His son came and Jack came over, as well, to help. One thing I wanted removed was an old electric stove that Chuck had tossed over behind my barn 3 years ago. It had been laying there, on its side, untouched, and always in my way for all those years. We each grabbed a corner and the three of us carried it down to the driveway. Chuck was sitting outside as we walked by with it. He said, “That's mine, you know.” 

 

I told the guys to just ignore him as it had been abandoned for many years which legally made it mine now. So, we kept on and eventually lots of garbage got removed from my yard. I got a few dollars for it. 

A week later, Jack was walking his dog up the road and Chuck was out shoveling the new snow from the driveway he uses. Chuck looked over at Jack as he walked by and called him a thief. Now, Jack is a very mellow person, an artist, and this really upset him. So, later that day when his son stopped by to visit, he told him about it. His son doesn't like anyone messing with his dad, so he went over to Chuck's to explain the situation to him. Chuck saw him coming and called the police.

Now, I didn't know about any of this. I was upstairs doing laundry so I didn't hear anything. I came downstairs and looked out the window and saw a cop car in my driveway. WTF? I went to my entry door and saw Jack and his son talking to one cop at the end of my driveway. There was another officer over at the trailer talking to Chuck outside. Chuck was clearly agitated.

That one then walked towards my house and I braced myself for a visit from the police, for whatever reason. But he just said to the other officer, “That guy is a nut bar,” and they got in the car and drove away. 

 

A short while later, I saw Chuck walk through my driveway and he dropped a plastic bag there, close to my door. I thought it was one of the free newspapers we get. So I went out and picked it up.

Through the plastic I could read: “STUFF TO PONDER:

Even the most gentle creature will become vicious, when backed into a corner.”

There were several pages: a picture from the cover of the book, The Sociopath Next Door. This book has some sets of crazy eyes on the cover, and he Photoshopped a picture of my eyes onto there. Because, you know, I am the sociopath. Oy. There was a page from the Tenant's Association about reasonable enjoyment of property. He seems to have that one backwards. Then there was a page of personal information about me that he somehow gathered from different sources which I'm sure made him feel like quite the detective. 

I took it all up to Jack's to show him; that's when I learned about what had happened and why the cops were there. I told Jack about hearing the one say Chuck was a “nut bar.” Yes, we agreed, he sure is.